So this guy I was "seeing" a long time ago pop back up into my life (great, right? no, stupid) And he coming at me sideways with all this "why don't you call?" " you act like i don't exist" "i love you"

you want some cheese to go with that whine?

Over winter break, when I was in Chicago hanging with Nina and Myron, I was told some unsuspecting info about said guy, and I called him out on it, WITH HIM ON SPEAKER, and he still denied everything I was told. My friends don't lie, and I would hate to find out that they did (which I know they don't)

So, now that he's in Cali, he's claiming that he moved out here for ME?

hahahahahahaha naw, dude, you got the game messed up, you not out here for me. 

Anyway, I'm saying this to say that I am NO BODY'S rebound. If I'm not your first round draft pick, then I'm cool on you. Don't come to me after your relationship with her didn't work out. You had what you had, and now it's gone. And when I've made the decision that I'm done with you, then I'm done. 

I deserve the best, and if you didn't think I was the best the first time, then I know someone does. 

(this should have been a video post but i didn't feel like fiddling with the camera that is NOT built into my laptop)

I had a very interesting date on Friday. 

The guy is really nice, very thoughtful, has manners. There are some red flags but we all have red flags in our lives. Anyways, let me tell you about the date.

We initially agreed to meet at 630p but because traffic was bad, he was 30 mins late. Which was fine because he kept me update while he was driving.

When he picks me up, he has a pink rose with him (I hate pink and I'm allergic to flowers, but I was grateful nonetheless) Despite the nice gesture, I was taken aback by what he was wearing: a charcoal button down shirt with rust colored jeans, tan gym shoes and a tan hat  Here I am looking all fly and **** and he comes looking like this. OK, so I started thinking "maybe he doesn't go out on many dates or have dress up clothes like that". Got over that.

When we get to the movie theater, he tries to hold my hand. Um...I don't do PDA like that, and if you're not my dude, we not holding hands in public like that. Then he tries to kiss me while we're waiting for the light to change  don't like that either.

2 hours passes...

We're at the restaurant waiting for the food to come, and there's a video d-jay there, but there's no dance floor. But I like the music that he's playing so we're just chilling. Then this fool gets up in the middle of the floor, in between tables where people are eating mind you, and starts to dance. Now, this wouldn't have been so bad if he KNEW HOW to dance. I don't know what he was doing, but it wasn't dancing. So people are staring at him and I'm telling him, pleading with him to just sit down. Ok, got past that part of the date.

Now on to the ride home...

We start talking about FWB and how I think he doesn't seem like the type who's into casual sex. But thing that got me was that he kept contradicting himself. One min he said that he doesn't like that stuff, then he tells me that if I asked to have sex with him tonight, he'd be cool with it.  So which is it: you like it or you don't. There's no gray area with that. 

Then when we get back to my house, he asks me if I would like him to come and spend the evening with me. Uh...no thanks. For all I know you're trying to get into my pants or something. 

I honestly don't see us going beyond being just friends

Today, one of our own, has taken his life to escape it.

I pray that he was taken up into God's hands, looking down on all of us.

As long as I've been on Xanga, I have never encountered any Xanga drama. I hope and pray that this unfortunate series of events will help us all to understand that we need to come together as a Xanga family. I didn't know the blogger better known as Lynn, but there were people that I do know on here that are affected by this. 

I read at least 4 posts where they say that they will miss him, and I honestly felt the pain that they are feeling. 

This is the first time I have openly discussed the whole Xanga drama issue, and as of right now, it needs to stop.

IT NEEDS TO STOP

We need to stop taking things people write about THEIR PERSONAL LIVES so seriously. 

We need to honestly just respect each other, and to pray for each other's prosperity. 

You never know what you said to someone on Xanga has affected them, positive or negative. 

A tragedy has hit Xanga today, and we need to let our difference melt away so we can support each other.